I don't write a lot about my marriage-- at least not publicly. It has a little to do with wanting to keep some things private, a little to do with not wanting to put my foot in my mouth, and a lot to do with not sounding like an asshole. When one makes a big show of professing their love for someone, it's easy to sound more like an over-compensating asshole rather than a dedicated partner. But today is our fourth wedding anniversary and I want to say a few things about a few things.


Our relationship began almost ten years ago. We were naive college students who had fairly jaded perspectives on relationships and family. Our road was quite bumpy. Poor and careless decisions were made far too often and there were a lot of hurt feelings. It took work- and a lot of growing up- to realize that the best relationships aren't based on a universal idea of perfection; rather, they consist of two flawed people who neither expect nor want perfection from the other.


The best relationships are more like partnerships with frequent consensual groping. The best relationships don't require agreement on everything and instead respect difference of opinion. The best relationships are the ones where both people never give up on the good in the other but also maintain a level of take-no-shit-self-respect. The best relationships consist of two people who ask themselves regularly-- if not daily-- how they can make the person they love feel loved.


And just like my general motto in life, it would appear that not being an asshole is probably the best way to go about staying married. Well, that is if staying married is important to you. It is to me.


Then again, I'm married to McDreamy. So...