It's on days like today I find it baffling how two tiny humans can be so unbelievably exhausting and the work of raising them can feel at times so grueling, unmanageable, and exasperating.
These aren't the days I want to look back on and remember with blinding clarity-- I hope the rough days blend seamlessly into the landscape of my experience as a mother, along with potty training, postpartum depression, and Marlo's terrible two's. And three's.
And, yet, I desperately want to remember days like today and just how much they teach me about not only being a good mother, but also about being a decent person. No one will ever test your patience like a stubborn three year old who asks the same question forty-seven times AFTER you've already given her an answer forty-six times. No one will ever throw your lack of patience in your face more forcefully like that same stubborn three year old.
So, while I don't particularly appreciate the raging tantrums over not going to Target for the third time this week or because she found a dry marshmallow in her bowl of marshmallows (today was also chock-full of all-else-has-failed-bribes) or because Edie blinked too many times or because she simply had a quota to fill for the week, I must acknowledge how much these kinds of days push me to be better and to do better and to try harder.